Jul 21, 2020

39. Really like it

Sometimes, thinking about someone is more lonely than being alone.

The longer away from Shi Xi, Guo Zhi increasingly thought about it. Guo Zhi wants to see him sit cross-legged and put the laptop on his lap. He wanted to see his beautiful fingers holding a pen and writing on paper.  Seeing how Shi Xi wrote about the world, wanted to know what hobbies he had recently done, thought of his handsome appearance, and wanted to listen to him.

This feelings are full piled up in the chest and there is no place to go.

Even though it's only for a second, Guo Zhi wants to see him.

It seems that all his time it is fixed only on Shi Xi, it is indeed true.

After a busy day at the shop, Guo Zhi changed clothes and wore a thick coat.  When he came out, he could not help snoring in the cold. The sky looked gray, Guo Zhi kicked a stone on the road, from the left side of the road to the right side and then from the opposite direction, occasionally exhaling a breath like steam from his mouth.

On the way home, Guo Zhi passed the old park. Most of the facilities at the place are worn and damaged. Being close to home, Guo Zhi likes to come here to play when he was younger. Guo Zhi stepped on the dead leaves, put his hand in his pocket and looked at the garden.

When he was a kid, Guo Zhi liked to sit on a seesaw, it was rusty, and one side had been crushed and fallen to the ground. Guo Zhi sat on it, took a branch on the ground, wrote Shi Xi's name and laughed for no reason, if Shi Xi saw him, he would have cursed.

He pulled out his cellphone and put the camera in selfie mode and pressed the video button.

"Shi Xi! It's me, Guo Zhi. That, like this ... Ah, how do you say it ..." His right hand held the seesaw and continued, "We are lovers, right? So, you see the New Year is coming soon, right? I can make a New Year wish right? Can you also record a video for me? I don't want to see photos, I want videos, I'm not too much right?"

Guo Zhi ended the video. Staring at his cellphone for a long time before standing and walking around the park, considering whether to send it to Shi Xi, he suddenly pointed to the trash can next to him. "You, listen to me! If you think I don't have to send it, move twice. If you think I should send it, don't move." What are these requirements, you rely on the trash to take the second choice.

Seeing the trash can not move, Guo Zhi nodded. "You told me to send it, not my wish." After saying that, he pressed the send button, then put the cellphone back in the bag, smiling, he ran home.

  Zhou Hui looked at Guo Zhi who was panting into the house.  "Where have you been? You're late. Go wash your hands and eat."

  Guo Zhi went to wash his hands and sat down to eat. "I toured around here. Today is very cold."

  "Yes, it might snow this year."  Zhou Hui looked out the window.

  Guo Zhi also happily looked out of the window, "It's been a long time since I saw snow and if it's really falling, I'd love to see it even if it's just a little."

  Zhou Hui couldn't help but smile.  "How old are you? You're like a child."

  One family quietly ate at the table according to the rules for not talking when eating.  Guo Zhi put food in a bowl, he thought of Shi Xi, when traveling, when sitting in a small shop.  He always thinks about it, no need, he doesn't want to tell Shi Xi even though he knows Shi Xi won't respond.

  After eating as usual, Zhou Hui cleaned the table, and Guo Yunyong immediately lit a cigarette.  "Is your lover also a student? Don't look for a girl whose status is unclear."

  "She's a student, her grades are very good but she's not my lover. I just like him a little."  Guo Zhi started to feel uncomfortable.  These meaningless and false words are only spoken from his mind, not from the heart.

  "Good, choose a good and educated lover. You saw your cousin, the last time he brought his lover, full of makeup, and didn't know to speak politely. The relatives talked about it in the back, embarrassing the family."

  "I understand."

  Apart from family relations, they are like enemies in a blanket, if you do strange things, you will be quietly talked about in the back.

  This feeling, there are many things to endure, very much.

  Obviously, he was mentally prepared, but he had to endure more than he had prepared.

  How many people gave up and how many people survived.

  If he thinks of giving up, he will be helpless.  He gave up once.  He finally liked the thing that made him give up.  In the end, he still likes Shi Xi.  This is his soul.  This is his heart.  This is his happiness.

  Although this relationship is somewhat unfair, it is not alone, not only for yourself, but also for others.

  Accept and survive.

  They chatted, when it was 11 o'clock, Zhou Hui, who was lifting the clothes on the balcony, suddenly shouted.  "Guo Zhi, come here quickly, snow."  Guo Zhi ran to the balcony, snow falling softly from the darkness of the sky.  Fall into the city decorated with lights, like an angel coming, shaking white wings, falling beautifully.  Guo Zhi reaches out, snow falls on the palm and melts.

  In the distance, out of nowhere, fireworks blazing with its voice brightening the sky.

  Guo Yunyong is also come out.  Three people stood on the balcony and watched the view of snow that hadn't been seen for several years.  It's actually not beautiful, and snow isn't that good.

  Guo Yunyong and Zhou Hui were chatting.  Guo Zhi's heart was twitching.  The shadow of the snow in his eyes widened slightly, the colorful light from the fireworks made the old garden clearer, right in the broken seesaw, there was someone sitting on it, it was no mistake, no mistake.  Shi Xi sat on the seesaw with his hands in his pants, he looked cold and looked at the fireworks.

  What is this feeling, warm to hot.

  His hands gripping the balcony railing, Zhou Hui who saw Guo Zhi's expression couldn't help asking, "Do you really like snow?"

  "Yes."  Guo Zhi whispered, kept repeating, then leaned forward a little, screaming out loud.  "Like it, like it, really like it!"